So we have been having some trouble at kindergarten. “He’s just so stubborn!” Mrs. Aberle complained to me a few weeks ago. Tell me about it. Every day I was getting updates on how PJ was refusing to get in line, obey the rules, stand up… he was even sent to the principal’s office (but intercepted by Mrs. Aberle as she came to have a talk with me!) by Coach Deikoff because he refused to jump rope.
We had a talk about stubbornness. About how it is a gift from God that we need to figure out when to use. And how disobeying our teachers causes a lot of trouble. Examples were given about what would happen if the teacher asked us to line up for recess and no one obeyed. Would we go to recess? No. Examples were popular. We dreamed up several. But did that translate to improved behavior? No.
At last I set up a chart with a “cooperativeness” point system. He could get a point each day from each teacher he interacted with. If he was not stubborn, he got a cooperativeness point. Day 1 of this system, we go over it on the drive to kindergarten. PJ understood it and seemed on board. We enter the classroom. He sits in a chair. Mrs. Aberle asks him to get up. Now is the time to move the chairs to the table – they do this every morning apparently. He does not respond. Other boys come over to get the chair – he refuses to move. I ask him to get up. He doesn’t want to. I am about to explode.
I tell Mrs. Aberle we will be right back. I march him down to the principal’s office. We sit in the waiting area. I am angry. I try to call Josh on the cell phone to talk to his son. This usually gets results because Poppa spanks hard. I can’t get him. I say, “Do you realize that when you go to the principal’s office, they can spank you?” PJ’s face hardens. “Why!?” He’s mad about that. We talk a little more about it and I tell him I expect him to be cooperative with Mrs. Aberle and the other teachers today. And every day. Etc., etc. And we go back to class. Points earned that day: 3 out of 3. Stubbornness incidents since (2 weeks): one.
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